A Life’s Journey With Your Soul Mate
Inspiration
A few months ago, I came across the song “Walking Her Home” by Mark Schultz. Mark says that the inspiration for this song came from his neighbors when he first moved to Nashville and met Henry and Liz. Henry told Mark about their first date and that Liz’s father had said “Take good care of my daughter, walk her home, and promise me you’ll never leave her side” Mark went on to explain that many years later he visited them in a nursing home. After hugging them and saying goodbye, he recalls, "I stood at the front door and watched them walk down the hall, arm in arm. Henry was walking her back to her room. I remembered the promise that he made to her father, to walk her home and never leave her side... He was still doing it."
I have added the lyrics and a link for you to check out the song that inspired this story at the end of this article.
My Life’s Journey
This song has been resonating with me for quite some time now and I know that deep down in my heart. I would have made this same promise to my father-in-law if he had asked. He never did but I know that he would agree that through all the joy and heartache in my life, I never left Valerie’s side. One of the hardest things in my life was the final years of Valerie’s life the helplessness of watching someone you truly love waste away struggling with things we normally would have had no issues with.
The year was 1991 the year I was fortunate enough to marry the person I can only describe as my soul mate. I am not saying our marriage was perfect; we did have a rough start and the first several years were tough. We had made a commitment to each other on our wedding day that would endure through sickness, in health, in good times, and in the bad times. We were fortunate enough to have love and dedication to each other which gave us the drive to work together at making our relationship better. I understand at this point in my life that our journey is unique and what works for some might not be the answer for all.
In 2001, we renewed our vows. This is the point in our marriage that I would say we were "starting over" into the best parts of our lives together. We were able to stop being two people in love and we started to become a single unit. I know this concept is foreign to some of you but trust me if you are fortunate enough to have that person in your life, you will truly feel it.
Together we traveled the world we both were addicted to traveling and the experiences it brought to our lives. When we were first married we decided not to have children, Val would always say she had one then look at me. Then as we got older, the thought of children came into the discussion. We started to think about it and then I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in a battle that would take almost 10 years to beat. We decided at this point that we were too old and by the time our children left the house, we would be retiring. We continued to travel and see the world together. Since we had 2 wonderful nieces in our lives, we would spend as much time with them as we could. We had a wonderful life.
Sometime in 2012, Valerie started to experience some issues with her health and after some preliminary tests, her doctor was stumped. Valerie ended up in the emergency department with what they thought was appendicitis and this started a journey that would take 4 years to conclude. We found out that it was not appendicitis Valerie had a tumor that had grown through her small intestine and was leaking into her body. After going through surgery and chemotherapy, Valerie was starting to feel better; she was walking and eating like her old self and was planning to return to work until she started to feel ill again. Several months went by, along with more tests, more hospitalization, more surgery, and more advanced chemotherapy. I will never forget that day in September when I had delivered Valerie to the hospital for some treatments and was called back by the hospital saying that Valerie was not doing well and needed me to come right away. It was 1:18 in the afternoon when her oncologist gave us the news; Valerie was terminal and they had done everything they could to try to beat this disease.
Valerie was able to hold on until December 29th of that year. This in hindsight is a blessing as Valerie got to spend her last Christmas with her family and all of her favorite people. She so desperately wanted to see another New Year but fell short. Valerie passed away in the early afternoon and her last moments will be with me forever. Valerie left this world much like we lived it together as one. Knowing our family was in the next room, she and I shared her very last moments together, we were alone and just being together she tried to speak and was unable, I told her that I understood she had fought a hard battle and she was tired, I remember saying it was alright I would be ok, go now and rest. I held her in my arms as she took her last breaths. I guess this is just one of the reasons this song speaks to me, I feel like I walked her back home.
My Take Away
During my life with Valerie and for a few years after I was not an overly religious person. However, Valerie and I lived our lives by the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” After Valerie’s death, I went into a deep and horrible place yet I would not admit it to anyone. I came out of that near the end of 2019 my life changed for what I would say was for the better and I have renewed my life and my relationship with God. I was resentful and angry that Valerie was gone. Today, I am seeing things very differently, I see all of the good that Valerie and I shared and all the wonderful times we had together. Gone is the anger and hatred and it has been replaced with love and happiness.
My Wish for You
This song makes me desire for my nieces that they find someone to have in their lives that will make this commitment to them and to their families. I would want them to find a person that continually asks, “How did I get so lucky to have this person in my life?” I would want them to always be ready to walk their loved ones home and protect them from whatever life throws at them. I also want this for all fathers of daughters that your child finds this. I also encourage the fathers of sons to show them this level of commitment to the woman in their life so that they will learn from you. We are taught to always place our Lord first in our lives, but we need to also treasure and hold our partner closely. Take the steps today to commit to always walking her home.
Lyrics
"Walking Her Home"
by Mark Schultz
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you'll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground
[Chorus:]
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home
Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son
His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he's got your eyes
And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night
[Chorus:]
He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side
A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out
When they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side
Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call@2020 jraybrownI would like to also that a dear friend for the assistance he so graciously gave me in helping make this a reality, thanks Nathan Yau